The Haunting of Helena (2012)

 Next up is an enjoyable ghost story aimed at making you absolutely horrified of teeth and of fairies. 

Quite recently, Netflix brought to us this lovely, fairy-tale inspired ghost story. Of course, the poster drew me in first, because I guess I just can't resist good face gore. Eh...anywho. I found this rather well-done, with good cinematography, effects, plot. And a twist ending! And a sad ending.

So here we have the single mom moving into a new house. Why yes, the house is haunted. This is a horror film, and horror film realtors are out to get you. However, the heroine doesn't know this at first. Duh. She has to go around the world to find that there's a supernatural cause for little Helena being a total creep.

Helena here insists that the tooth fairy lives in her closet, and she wants teeth. And I guess Helena hasn't been taught to not trust toothless ladies who live in closets, because she buys teeth from her classmates. I guess kids these days carry their fallen teeth around in the rare event of sacrificial offerings? Anyway, the teacher doesn't like it, mama won't say her baby is crazy, and the tooth fairy is the most disgruntled of all. So Professor Crabapple or whatever dies right after Helena says she will. 

And just who is the tooth fairy? Why, only the victim of the obligatory horrible crime that occurred in the new house! The story goes that she smiled at another man, and her husband was such a cock that he pulled all her teeth out and left her in the closet to die. Also her kids were eaten by wolves. Makes for a rather sympathetic ghost, yeah? So sympathetic that Helena and mum throw children's teeth at her when they meet her.

Now, I really do like the meeting scene, mum's weakness to pianos aside. The tooth fairy has a rather captivating design. Sure she has a pretty face from the nose up, but he maw is perfectly mangled, complete with empty tooth sockets that she presses children's teeth into.

What a woman.

But kiddie teeth just won't do. She needs her own, and they are in “the secret place”. Some minutes and the demise of Helena's foreign-sounding dad later, they're in some weird heart thing on the wall in the church. Day is saved, mum dumps teeth in the closet. Poor victim lady is assuaged, her terrible damage repaired and—PLOT TWIST.

Mum went undercover and found an old film reel that she had some employee of whatever (who obviously has no friends or else he would've noticed she didn't actually work there) make watchable. However, he takes his sweet time and gives it to her after the ghost deal is over.

I'm also a sucker for footage styled after old film, and the interview with the “murderer” is quite satisfying. And chilling, and it reveals too us that you should never ever EVER trust toothless closet ladies. She's the one who murdered her children. She's the “ogress,” and the man took her teeth so she would stop that shit. So yeah, she just wanted her teeth back so she could eat babies. And mum gave them to her. Good job, mum.

And from above falls Ferri, the creepy old dude who just so happens to be the only witness of the ogress' crime. He croaks out his warning and OH SHIT you lost the baby. And off mum goes to find Helena.

There's a chase, and then an absolute gem of a scene. Mum looks into a doorway for Helena, and she freezes. And stares. And steps back, slowly, slowly....

So yeah, Helena dies and mum's at the loony bin. Good thing Helena's ghost is still there. Face a little messed up but oh well. That's the end of the movie. Yes, the child dies, the hero loses, but I liked it.. Feel bad for everyone involved, but gawd just let me enjoy things!

Something else I liked:

In the institution, there's this mute guy, and Helena gives him her doll when she is released. Such a sweet moment, and it makes you adore Helena just so that it sucks more when she dies. It's dastardly, but seeing the guy wave at her ghost is oddly adorable.

I've heard qualms about the acting in this film, but I can't complain. I only notice acting quality if it's superb or really really REAAALLy bad. (13/13/13. Just sayin.)

So, this is a wicked little tale that's worth recommending to anyone that is not a child with loose teeth, becaue that would be horrible of you.